A Shortcut to Mushrooms - or - A Fungus Among Us - or - Are You Ready to be Majorly Schkeeved?

Disclaimer: This is disgusting. But John and I agreed it must be documented.

I ran out into the backyard yesterday and found 8 GIGANTIC MUSHROOMS growing under our large oak tree. It was so gross!

We decided to remove the offenders. Each mushroom was larger than the size of a very large cabbage. They were so heavy. We estimated each one weighed at least 10 pounds each. We ended up with almost 100 pounds worth of fungus. I am so schkeeved! Ewwww!! The mushrooms filled an entire large garbage can.

Oh and the whole backyard SMELLED of mushrooms. Ughhhhhhh!!!!

Just to be clear, this is ONE mushroom pictured. There were SEVEN OTHERS.

Note: Now I am not sure what is more disturbing, the size of the mushroom, or the socks-under-thong combo that John is wearing. He wants me to point out that this was the first time he ever wore his socks like this, since it was an emergency situation.

Upon further research I think we had a bonafide trove of Sulphur Shelf, which is also known as Chicken-of-the-Woods, because, you can, you know, prepare it like a chicken cutlet?

I know, barf.

FYI, This is just a guess after about 5 minutes searching on the internet. I would never try to eat this stuff or let anyone else try to eat this stuff. Or tell anyone else it's ok to ever eat something growing in the wild.

Gross.

Stay tuned for a major painting project in progress...